“The moment we think we have all the answers, we forget all the questions.”

The best strategy, when dealing with people, is ALWAYS to listen more and talk less. Nowhere is it more true than in sales. Easier said than done. We're all guilty here. Here's just few most common reasons:

1) If your mind is fully focused on your intention - to make a sale, getting anxious the longer it takes, you can't possibly hear your client or notice clues in their body language that would help you relate to their needs and communicate clearer.

2) You're obsessed with your own issues, problems, and honestly YOURSELVES in general to give anybody else the attention they deserve. After all, what’s more important than your own life, success, and your family? When your ego is in charge, it’s impossible to relate to other people.

3) You’re short on time. When someone takes a minute to express themselves, you have already moved on to something more interesting,...

If not, maybe you should start! No, I don’t mean giving them a bunch of toys and puppies. I mean motivating them the same way you would if you were encouraging a child.

Remember how around 2 years of age, just as they mastered walking the stairs without falling on their tush – suddenly everything became “I will do it! Me! Myself!”?  From simple things like eating with a fork, peeling a banana (yes, even in the car!) to tying shoelaces. The progress is fast and enormous.

Sure, you can do it for them much faster and more efficiently.

But will your child ever feel the same sense of pride overcoming the obstacle and accomplishing the task? Would they learn?

They say, "show, don’t tell".

I say, "Ask, and let them solve it."

During my earlier days in wine sales, every once in a while, sales managers came up with a genius idea to boost sales. (When I say genius, imagine Bill Murray saying it with a smirk). They called it Fridays BLISS....

I have seen that 'I-am-lost' look before. 

I noticed them as soon as they entered this mega wine store. A nice couple, in their sixties, somewhat intimidated. The store was my biggest account then, easily over 10 thousand sq ft. It displayed thousands of wines, liquors, beers. I know what it feels like when you just want a bottle or two for a dinner, don't know much about wines, and walk into a huge store like this. The last thing you want is a sales clerk all over you because honestly, you're not even sure what you're looking for. 

Where do you even start? Let's get something we can actually pronounce. Do you like this label? Do you search by grape variety or by origin? You see, I'm a wine person so I know my preferences.  This couple looked more than confused and I felt for them. 

If I wasn't pinned behind a little station, doing a wine tasting, I would jump in and help. I knew how to put people at ease and find out what they like - so I can recommend something...

Why do you think you have such a short motivation span?

You attend a seminar, listen to a motivational speaker, a workshop – and come out of it full of ideas, feeling like: “let’s go conquer the world!” And then, the next day or even an hour later that winning feeling kind of wears off; fades away and you slip back into your old, usual ways.

"Oh, it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway! Nothing changes." It’s easier to settle for the old, proven way, and explain to yourselves why things can’t work the way you wish they would. Do you hear that kind of talk in your head?

Why do you think that is?

What would you say stand in the way of positive, upbeat, motivated, active, and successful?

Is it education?

Is it money?

Is it support around them?

Is it time?

Is it something else?

What is it?

I say it’s your own mindset.  The talk you have for yourself. It’s the most powerful tool we all have.

What happens when you get a new...

I was shocked. After all, I left her completely abandoned for months!!!!

And now, I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was back, blossoming, stronger, more beautiful than ever.

Oh, sorry. I’m talking about my orchid here... I call her Queen Reina.

You see, I fell in love with these absolutely gorgeous creatures years back. At first, I only grew orchids on the inside window in Connecticut (because .... four seasons). Later, when we moved to Florida, I have them inside and out. After all, I assumed it was their original tropical habitat. Emphasis on "assume".

After sacrificing a few, I learned the hard way that not all orchids are created equal.

Some say, they’re super sensitive – I say they’re at their best when left ALONE! When my orchids were in the most gorgeous blossom season, friends kept asking me what I do with them, what do I feed them, etc.  My answer was always: nothing! I didn't lie. Sometimes I even forget to water them!

Don’t over care...

He was one of the best dentists in Prague then, close to impossible to get an appointment with.

I was lucky.

I still remember waiting in the dentist’s chair, quite uncomfortable. You see, getting Novocain was considered a luxury back in the eighties in my home country – the drilling was therefore a quite painful experience.

It all reminded me of the years of “government preventive care program for schools” we went through during elementary school. 

That terrifying knot in my stomach

The one that appeared every time we got hoarded (class of about 30 kids) during the school hours to the dentist’s waiting room. Every 6 months kind of exercise. Never announced ahead of time so the kids couldn't stay home to avoid it.

I could still hear (and feel) the sounds of the drill and scared cries of my classmates,  the “lucky ones”, already inside.  (Hope you caught my sarcasm here). We all had to sit through it. Whoever was...

I never opened that newspaper.

It sat next to my breakfast plate, like every other day. I took one peek at the front page, and something in me stiffened. Strongly, violently, in my chest. It felt like someone was holding a tight grip on my throat and I lost some color in my face.

And then it hit me.

You see, as I do most mornings (OK, I try), I finished my morning routine to prepare myself for the day ahead. It slightly varies depending on the schedule for that day. I started off with a Wim Hof breathing exercise before I even got out of bed, I then did a set of exercises to bring more blood flow to my recently tensed up shoulder and shoulder blade.

Next, a few minutes of gratitude time. Mine's simple: grateful for waking up to another sunny day, for having a loving husband. For having bonus daughters (someone came up with that term and it sounds so much better than stepdaughters). For the simple fact that we love each other even though we met later in our lives. For the life...

The group of hairdressers, aestheticians, masseuses, manicurists, and receptionists standing in front of us were supposed to be my biggest (and likely only) asset if we were to turn this ship around. 

As we walked with the owner into her salon & spa, the tension in the air could be cut with a knife. Not what I expected. It sure didn’t seem like the owner understood the full extent of it either. As she cheerfully introduced me as a new manager, I could feel their secret eye roll (great, another guinea pig – just what we need).

I also saw disappointment, sadness, fear, anger, lost hope, agony, and defeat in their eyes.

As I tried to read the room, instead of a rah-rah speech, I turned into briefly thanking them for meeting me. I appreciated the given opportunity. It was met with polite but reserved reception. I asked for a few days to catch up with the daily operations and announced that I would like to meet everyone individually soon.

It didn’t take long...

It never disappoints.

Any group of salesmen I ever spoke to ends up with that same look on their faces, as if I just landed from Mars. It comes after my opening question and reads something like: “What the hell do you mean what’s on my mind when I start the sales call?!!!”

Yeah. If you’re in sales, you know it too. We ALL know it. There's only ONE thing that's on our minds.

And that’s the moment I start turning this whole familiar process upside down and tear it apart.

I teach how to approach a sales call (in person or over the phone) without obsessing about the sale.

Huh?

I know how it sounds. But give me a minute to explain.

What happens when the sale you need to make is all that's on your mind?

Your client feels it, sees it, and smells it – however well you think you cover it up with small talk. No amount of the right buzz words and a wide smile can wipe that off your mind. Could you really listen to your client,...