When was the last time you said YES to yourself?

I never opened that newspaper.

It sat next to my breakfast plate, like every other day. I took one peek at the front page, and something in me stiffened. Strongly, violently, in my chest. It felt like someone was holding a tight grip on my throat and I lost some color in my face.

And then it hit me.

You see, as I do most mornings (OK, I try), I finished my morning routine to prepare myself for the day ahead. It slightly varies depending on the schedule for that day. I started off with a Wim Hof breathing exercise before I even got out of bed, I then did a set of exercises to bring more blood flow to my recently tensed up shoulder and shoulder blade.

Next, a few minutes of gratitude time. Mine's simple: grateful for waking up to another sunny day, for having a loving husband. For having bonus daughters (someone came up with that term and it sounds so much better than stepdaughters). For the simple fact that we love each other even though we met later in our lives. For the life we created for ourselves.

For having a beautiful, peaceful house. For the freedom of choices.

That's what I call my morning routine

That's what I do. It takes a few minutes, sometimes longer, depending on how much time I have. That morning I also turned on my Omwana app (love it) and picked a short meditation I was in the mood for. It calms me down and opens my mind for the new day. I then played out in my head what's awaiting me for the day, going over things I need to do. I’ve never been a much of a planner, but since I began making at least some type of outline, my life became much more organized and effective.

So I went through all this and sat down for breakfast.

I realize not everyone has the luxury of this time in the morning. That’s why I rearranged my entire life and career. That’s my personal priority, the choices I made, and what makes me happy.  I also need it to recharge my energy so I function properly.

We adore this breakfast time with my husband – it’s our favorite part of the day!  I never schedule client calls or meetings early morning (the perks of being my own boss). To effectively help others, I must set my mind straight, be positive, and start my day right. I practice what I preach. I could never afford this time for myself when I was in my stressful career before - we even used to get up at different times. That's why I treasure it so much now.

Not having small kids allow us to sit quietly in our Florida room (called lanai here in Florida – sounds so regal, doesn’t it??), take our time, watch the cardinals and blue jays coming to our birdfeeder, look at all the greenery and blossoming orchids we’re surrounded with highlighted by the sun on the rise from the ocean. No, our house isn’t actually ON the ocean – but we’re near, and I know it’s there; I can see it, hear it, imagine it, and smell it - in my mind.

Drinking the coffee we love, eating what we like, and reading newspapers (each our own). Only then do I take a shower, change from my pajamas, and start my working day. I usually write first, BEFORE I even open emails full of other peoples' agendas - and then my scheduled sessions kick in… That's what I do to stay focused on my priorities and how I show up with the energy I want to give. 

My husband and I don’t have a moment of tranquility like this again until the evening.

This changed  3 days ago.

When I saw the front page of the paper that morning and the picture accompanying it, I got that feeling of grip on my throat.

I effectively erased my entire morning routine by reading all the negative news right after - resetting my mind, and positive intentions for the day.

We also had the illusion that this was “our time”. How often we repeat those terms " to be present, with intention" - and what does it even mean? It sounds such a cliché, doesn't it? 

Yes, we sat next to each other and ate. Surrounded by all that beauty I mentioned. Did we see it? We both buried our eyes in our own paper (sometimes when my husband goes through his he takes his iPhone out and continues scanning headlines there).

If one of us starts randomly sharing something we just read out loud, we snap at each other, because the other was in the middle of something else. So we interrupt each other instead of engaging in meaningful conversation.

And the third, the most important thing I realized that morning – I linked my favorite part of the day – breakfast, the quiet time – with reading all the negative garbage. As a DEFAULT. Are you familiar with the old journalistic law - 'when it bleeds, it reads'?

I realized what we turned into a habit.

With every bite of the food we enjoy, I voluntarily take a dose of poison telling myself I love it. Some morning routine!

I never opened the paper that morning. I turned it upside down. Instead, I focused my attention on the food and looked at the quiet surroundings, taking in the ambiance of our backyard – the very reason why we bought this house. I felt at ease, along with my thoughts.

“You’re not reading today?” Jerry looked up from his paper, feeling guilty that he did, worried something was wrong with me.

My little personal paradise

I explained what I just wrote to you.

I didn’t ask him to do the same; I just told him how it made me feel and what I realized at that moment. He suggested we unsubscribe and I’m all for it. Leaving politics out of it, we ALL have choices that are right for us. I made mine. It doesn’t mean I put my head in the sand – I’m well informed, I follow what’s happening because it matters to my life. I just chose how much of it, when, and how I get my information.

I prioritized my own wellbeing and my work.

Just like I keep blocking those annoying spam calls on my cell, one number at a time, this was another story I told myself, successfully deleted, reorganized, and eliminated. I breathe easier since.

Putting yourself first, all those little moments are little victories. It’s what matters the most. Trust me, it works miracles.

P.S. Can you relate? How do you sabotage your good efforts? What are the little stories tell yourself that you want to change?

Leave a comment below!  It helps me write more about stuff that interests YOU and could help others.