Train your mind to believe you

Why do you think you have such a short motivation span?

You attend a seminar, listen to a motivational speaker, a workshop – and come out of it full of ideas, feeling like: “let’s go conquer the world!” And then, the next day or even an hour later that winning feeling kind of wears off; fades away and you slip back into your old, usual ways.

"Oh, it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway! Nothing changes." It’s easier to settle for the old, proven way, and explain to yourselves why things can’t work the way you wish they would. Do you hear that kind of talk in your head?

Why do you think that is?

What would you say stand in the way of positive, upbeat, motivated, active, and successful?

Is it education?

Is it money?

Is it support around them?

Is it time?

Is it something else?

What is it?

I say it’s your own mindset.  The talk you have for yourself. It’s the most powerful tool we all have.

What happens when you get a new idea into your head? Do you get excited, start exploring your options – or do you immediately talk yourself out of even trying? "What if it’s a stupid idea?  What if I fail? What if I will be laughed at? What if someone would question my expertise? What if everybody is already doing that? What if…."

“But darling, what if you fly?” 

... Erin Hanson famously said.

Isn't it amazing how our mind immediately comes up with “protective” thoughts designed to prevent us from the same mistakes and disappointments we have safely buried somewhere deep in our memory?

'Remember that time 15 years ago, when you started that new boutique and you couldn’t get people to get in, then you abended it, and you lost money and confidence! It didn’t work out, did it? Well, don’t do it again!'

Beat it! Do it anyway!

Just like your mind instinctively seeks these long-forgotten experiences, and comes up with the reasons why NOT, you can train your mind to think positively and beat that trend.

Your mind plays a simple game to connect dots that don’t make sense anymore. It doesn’t take into consideration that you’re now older, wiser, more experienced, the circumstances are completely different. Your mind can’t adjust that. It just reaches into the piggybank of your memories and pulls out the one that’s most relevant. How convenient!

The seeds were planted there a long time ago. If it was a great seed of beautiful flowers, that's what will grow. If it was a poison Ivy, it will grow too. The mind doesn't decide which harvest is a better result for you. It works with the seeds it was given.

Ever heard of the laws of attraction? How your thoughts become things and those things become your actions? If you see everything from the negative point of view, it becomes your default position and nothing will ever change. You'll let your fear paralyze you.

It’s “safe” and for some even comforting NOT to take any step, not to change anything, make any improvements in your life and career. You’re letting your mind trick you into staying safely where you are. If something goes wrong, there is always a line of things or people you can blame it on. After all, you didn’t do anything to cause it, right?  

But if the current destination doesn’t work for you, you have a choice to make. You can say where you're and complain about it. Or, you know something needs to change. But that's scary. For everyone.

What helps is when you can consciously train your mind for positive outcomes. And there are methods and systems that help you do just that. 

I have friends who, when faced with any situation, immediately come up with the worse possible scenario of the outcome. Yeah, even my own husband, who is otherwise fantastic, has this same “talent”.

Let me tell you a story I'll never forget:

Years back we visited a lawyer to assist us with a case. He took all the related documents and promised to get back to us. We didn’t hear from him for a while. After some time passed by, I approached a different lawyer, our friend, to help me with that case.

A few weeks later I received a registered mail notice from the post office. It was from that first lawyer (the one we didn’t hire). It was on Friday evening and the mail wouldn’t be available for pick up until the next Monday.

My husband immediately started painting this theory about what it COULD be. Suddenly he was telling me how this first lawyer probably found out that I hired someone else, and now he’ll sue us … (it didn’t make any sense, we didn’t have a contract, he was the one who didn’t get back to us, and plus – how the hell would he even know I hired someone else?).

But - what else would he be sending, if not a notice?

See, when your mind starts working on these scenarios, the logic goes out of the window. I only lived in States for a few years then, had no clue what was legally possible, and my husband was the more experienced one. So he managed to make me worried sick.

[illustrative photo by Ali Yahya on Unsplash]

We were thinking about how we’re possibly going to pay for all this. I got so worked out that by the end of the weekend I was convinced we’re in deep, deep trouble.

Still have no clue what was in the mail.

I remember coming to the post office, picking up the envelope with a sharp stone pushing through my guts. How could we eliminate the worst?

And then I opened that dreaded envelope.

The first lawyer was returning the documents I gave him when we met, with an apology that he can’t take on my case.

Obviously! 

Well, let’s just say that I almost killed my husband for working me out to frenzy for no reason!  And yes, I often remind him of this story when he starts with his scenarios again.

That’s what your mind is capable of doing

When you don’t know, you start making stuff up. What it COULD be, how it COULD work out or not.

But we have the power to change it. Instead of What if I fail? Can we get excited with What if it works??? What if you consciously change every possible negative imaginary answer to a positive one?

Instead of what if he says no – let’s try “what if he says yes”? Is it easy? Of course not, but you have the option to try, and it doesn’t cost any money or extra time.

It’s just our thoughts and we can program how we think into what we like to think.

It just requires you to remember, catch your thoughts before they come up with another excuse why not, and take charge. You train your mind instead of your mind running you! 

Another way to train your mind not to always fall into “safe” negative thoughts is to take an action. When your mind starts with – “but what if it fails”, you count to 5 and  DO IT ANYWAY!

Unless you ask, the answer is always NO

Unless you ask, the answer is always no!!!

It’s the only way we find out because most of the time we worry about stuff that already happened and there's nothing we can do about it. Or about stuff assuming about the future that might not even happen. Right? 

When you look back at your life, every change, transition, every single decision was hard to make. But once you made it, although feared, things around you started shifting towards the new direction. Events shaped to assist you on the way to a new destination. You met new people, experienced new things, the new door started opening – some you didn’t even consider in your original plan. And most likely it all improved your life going forward. Every experience, even the not so great ones, is valuable.

I believe you’re strong enough to see it that way

One of the most significant human needs is the need to grow. You’re not happy when you stagnate in one position. You need to constantly strive for new things, new stimulations, experiences, and new meanings in your life. It keeps us all alive. Even the most successful people in the world don't just sit back, satisfied with their own success.

Perhaps they seemingly achieved everything they ever wished for – but now they have the need to share their knowledge, their experience. They get inspired to build something out of their success to help others with the money they're fortunate to make, mentorship, helping hand. It’s the great circle of life.

That’s what gives you the ultimate happiness, the meaning to what you do. When you stay still, you have nothing to hope for, nothing to look forward to, and nothing to strive for. Just like a flower in nature - when it stops growing, it dies. It doesn’t just sit there staying the same.

So where can you start?

Let’s first identify the stars you're shooting for

Start with your end goal. What do you wish to have more of in your life?

Dream BIG.

After all, you can’t set up the GPS if you don’t know the final destination. You don’t have to know the entire path, but the goal should be clear.

Start today. Make a list of what you most want. If it’s easier to write what you DON’T want, then fold the paper in half, start with that – and then write the opposites on the other side.

And then take the first little step towards that destination

Yeah. It's going to be a little scary. Do it anyway. You'll prove to yourself that you're capable of it. Train your mind to believe in yourself. Once you take the first step, the door will open and more options and opportunities will appear seemingly by the incident. 

But you already know better. None of it is an incident. 

Now it's your turn: what’s your biggest, juiciest goal you have for yourself (the one you’re afraid to admit to yourself??) post it below, and let’s work on it!