One important skill to win sales that everybody knows but hardly anybody uses

One of the most important skills in (any) sales is – L I S T E N I N G.

I know, duh! How many times have you heard – “you’ve got to listen to your clients”. If you’re a good salesman, you listen more than you speak.

"But Vera, I do listen. What am I supposed to listen for?"

Let me tell you a short story.

I have a nice aunt, Marie. She’s this loving, bubbly, caring person, interested in everybody, always smiling and welcoming. She has one bad habit – every time she asks a question, she would then enthusiastically start finishing the sentences WITH YOU. A loud. She would speak the words you’re ABOUT to say.

It’s incredibly annoying.  Knowing what kind of person she’s, I know she doesn’t mean it in any negative way. But if I didn’t know her – I would feel like she was telling the other person – I already know what you’re going to say, I can say it for you better, look I know what words you’re going to use, I have no patience to wait till you get to your point, I can finish your thoughts for you, you’re predictable, you’re not interesting enough to learn anything new from.

That’s certainly how you CAN interpret such a habit.

If you knew her though, you would realize she was a super sweet person and it was her way of showing she cared. She had empathy for you, paid attention to what you said, that she’s on the same page. I’m pretty sure she never even realized she’s doing it.

To improve your listening skills is to let go of assumptions, too.

When we try to improve our listening skills, sometimes we're not even aware of our own habits. 

You assume you listen even when you don’t hear. Focus on yourself and observe what you do, what your body language says, where your eyes go when you listen to someone.

The person you listen to has their own assumptions, too: they wonder if you hear them, if you understand, and worry if they're interesting enough. And some are cautious not to reveal too much.

One of the biggest shocking discoveries for me during my professional life was the fact that MIND can only focus on one thing at a time. I was one of those overachievers proudly bragging about me multitasking. Well, there’s no such thing as multitasking. Yes, you can do a few things at the same time (look how brilliant you’re) but NONE of them gets the same amount of attention as if you focused on them one at a time. It’s a science.

(yeah, and a little secret: the older you get, the less capable you’re of so-called multitasking anyway… Ask me how I know). What it means to your listening skills: unless you're completely focused on the person speaking, with an intention to listen and pay attention - nothing else, you hear half of what the person is saying.

That’s why I don’t call or answer the phone when driving.

You concentrate on the road in front of you, or you concentrate on the person you’re talking to. Yet you do it all the time. You switch to an automated pilot. Even if your eyes never leave the view in front of you, your mind wanders.  Not to mention, when you’re on the phone, somehow you still follow the phone with your eyes expecting to see the sound coming out. It doesn't get any better holding the phone and speaking to it on a loudspeaker. Instead of having your hands firmly on the wheel so you can react, you're now holding a phone in one.

I'll never forget that mad woman who almost hit me walking to my car in the parking lot, passing by in her white Honda with a speed of light. I don't believe she realized she was already driving. Her face was all red, you could see she was yelling at someone on the phone, madly articulating with her hands. Yes, both hands. And yes, she was in fact "driving". 

Ever noticed how the car in front of you suddenly slows down without a reason even in the left (supposedly the fastest, passing) lane? Or, especially in the left lane? And once you pass them, they're on the phone? It's a subconscious reaction.  

Your mind can only focus on one thing at a time.

Still not convinced?

Look around – wherever you’re. And in 30 seconds try to notice and remember as many RED things in the space surrounding you, as you can. Set a timer, go…

Did you find several? Good.

Now, close your eyes and name all the blue things you also saw.

If it’s your own room or office, you probably come up with a few you remember are there. But since I asked you to locate and focus on red things – your mind, in order to concentrate, ignored everything else. That’s exactly how your mind works.

You think you listen – but in your mind, you’re already forming the response, your own argument, your own point of view. Something the other person said reminds you of your own story and now you concentrate on it so you don’t forget. You can’t wait for them to finish so you can jump in.  So you don’t really hear them anymore. 

The wife goes crazy when she sees her husband’s eyes pierced on a baseball he’s watching, while he’s nodding his head, assuring her he’s listening. She knows he CAN’T hear a thing she says.

You think you listen when chatting with your client – but your mind runs all the errands on your list, wondering what time it is; if you had to run to pick kids already, are you going to make it to the other appointment on time, maybe while the guy is talking, you could punch your orders in… you tune out in a few seconds. It’s natural.

You don’t hear a thing the other person says.

Yet you stand there, pretending you’re listening.

If the person you’re talking to is sensitive to body language and can read clues, they know you’re not really paying attention. Fake listening is the worse. When you pretend you care but your body says otherwise. When your eyes go elsewhere, you know your mind is there as well. I would sometimes say something completely out of context in my sentence (never changing the tone of my voice) and watch them mindlessly nod their heads at complete nonsense. They never notice if they’re not hearing me.

Master your listening skill – and that one skill alone will turn your sales around.

You’ll be an exception to the rule, you’ll stand out, you’ll learn lots of valuable information about your client, their interests, their values, what matters to them, how their business is going, you’ll know what drives them, you will understand them on a deeper level.

You might think - why?

So you know exactly what to sell them!

And that’s not something creepy or manipulative – that’s selling from a different place, with the benefit of your client in mind. When you master this, nothing can stop you!

If your client is not buying what you’re selling, making excuses, rejecting your stuff – but buying from your competition - you MUST learn how to make better offers. How to stand out.

And you can only make better offers if you understand your clients better.

It’s not about what you need to sell – it’s about what they want to pay for.

with Juan Muga (Muga, Rioja, Spain) during one of our tastings

Do you know what’s important to your clients? 

Why do they buy, what makes them tick, and why?

To answer the question at the beginning of this post, someone once asked me during the sales training, “But Vera, I do listen. What am I supposed to listen for?”

My answer is simple:

EVERYTHING.

Any little information, detail, private or business, is useful to better understand who your client is – and what he/she needs the most. Even if it seems unimportant the moment you hear it. This is one of the most important skills to develop with my Reverse Strategy to Success sales Method.

That’s why I call this step Creating PFF (creating your own personal FBI file). Don't worry. No interrogation of your clients or being creepy nosy about their life. It means you'll pay attention to every little detail you observe and make a mental note of it. While on the road, visiting clients every day, you can actually carry a box with hanging files in your car, with a chart on every single one of your clients.  That's how I did it when I realized I can’t possibly remember them all.

You could review that file before walking into your meeting, refreshing your memory. It helps not to forget some important stuff you promised them the last time – such as taking care of credit, breakage, whatever it could be.

How do you think your client feels when you show up a month later, and ask them: ”Hey, how did that hip surgery go, is your wife OK?”  That’s when you just skipped the line. You just stood out of the sea of the same salespeople whose only interest is to make a sale. Any sale. At that moment you’re more than someone who brings another wine to taste. You care, you listen, you remember, you’re concerned. You’re a human being.

Turns out?

When people have plenty of choices of whom to do business with, they tend to prefer human beings.